Word Pong

It's the nonsensiscal sensation that is sweeping, well me and one other person I know. Simply combine three unrelated things in a form of texted, emailed or spoken haiku and wait for the response. Point are awarded for originality of subject matter and combination and sheer vibe of the overall communication.

For example it could go:

"Abstract contractions, bombastic reactions, kippers made into a jam."

to which there could be the reply:

"Beard removal, a salad sandwich, double denim."

And so on and so forth:

"Stephen Segal, the age old battle of the sexes, The Man From Snowy River but set on the moon."

"Breaker Morant, talcum powder, the forms needed to receive medicinal marijuana."

"Japanese rice wine (in a simpler time before we called it saki), Jimmy Hendrix, binding documents solely for sexual favours."

"Murray's Murray River party cruise, le creuset, the pencil shavings of an already stubby (and extremely size-conscious) Ikea pencil."


"A reuben sandwich, Kevin Sorbo, a cream to reduce the irritation of the seven year itch."

Predators

I have thankfully missed out on all of the recent Alien vs Predator, Predator vs Predator and Predator vs Erkle films. In fact my sole knowledge of the Predator is Arnie fighting them on VHS. But when I heard that Robert Rodriguez had produced the film and it was staring art house muser Adrien Brody I thought it could be interesting, like maybe Brody falls in love with a Predator, only to have it break his heart, leave his con gang and cause him to go on an enchanted train journey across the indianesque subcontinent of the Predator home world. I thought he may even play the piano, while on the run from the space Nazis.

Sadly Hollywood again missed a trick, with none of the above taking place. What you get instead is a fairly intelligent genre film with an unnervingly gruff talking Brody. Perhaps it wasn't intentional, maybe he was just hungover the whole shoot? I know I would be.

Either way I would've given this film 5 stars if it had 100% more Arnie.

People of Prague: The family that smokes together

Animal Kingdom

What is it about Australia that we struggle to make a happy film? Is it all those years of living under the tyrannical rule of former PM John Howard's eye brows (everyone knows they were really control, they also had a tawdry affair with Bronwyn Bishop's hair helmet) or is it that all Australian film-makers suffer from the film equivalent of emotional eating?

Either way this is no Dude Where's My Car. It is however a good film, with a fair share of plot turns and cracking performances (Jackie Weaver's has a mind blowing gear change, while Guy Pearce's mustache almost steals the show).

I would give it 4 stars mainly for getting Air Supply's 'All Out of Love' stuck in my head.

YouTube what did I do without you? Double Rainbow

As fully grown human adults we recognise that many things can cause orgasm. In fact according to the wikipedia truth-site there are over 800,000 scientifically recognised causes, from ankle-binding to Zelda from The Legend of Zelda. But seemingly the best results come when the refraction of light in droplets of water in the atmosphere cause a rainbow (the birthplace of Rainbow Bright). But not just any rainbow a rainbow two-way (I'd like to one day have a twosome, people tell me it's good).

Watch below as the viewer of this rarefied optical and atmospheric naughtiness reacts accordingly.

Toy Story 3 3-D

Pixar can't seem to do anything wrong. In fact after seeing Toy Story 3 3-D and the accompanying short Day & Night it almost wouldn't matter - if Pixar decided to mate a baby seal and a baby panda only to sell the almost world-destroyingly cute offspring (they'd have to go to Japan of course to make this experiment possible) to Fox News solely to produce fur coats for Sarah Palin - as long as they keep making such well constructed, beautifully looking, hilarious and yet moving films like Toy Story 3.

I also expect Giant Baby to win best supporting actor at next year's Oscars.

The Cylons have overrun my digestive tract

The end of Lost

I have a recurring mental problem, some kind of character glitch or addiction where I have to watch the series finale of a show even if I've never watched it before. I just like when things end. This can be problematic at times (see last episode of All Saints), but it's just the way Gepetto and his little baby Jesus made me. So it is with great excitement that I welcome the end of Lost.

But so I know what the 'hey there's Jim from Neighbours doing a terrible American accent' is going on I watched Sara Bernincas's informative catch-up of the last 6 years of Lost. Watch it in all of it's Party of Five referential and Angelina Jolie box eating glory.

I just can't wait to find out what the hatch, the plane crash and that annoying little kid with the dog were all about. I also hope they explain in the finale how the co-host of 1990's Australian Gladiator ended up as a flight attendant.



Via The Vine and Defamer.

Drawing of a child - present for Chris

Just another day in Rio really. Good times.

Oh shit it's an ad - Nike

It's hard not to like an ad that has a massively aspirational idea, an epically well spent production budget and the directorial prowess of Amores Perros and Babel helmer Alejandro González Iñárritu.

That and the fact Nike not only pilaged their stable of soccer (there are already 3 too many footy codes for it to be called football in Australia) stars but also managed to throw in Kobe, R-Fed, Gael García Bernal and most importantly Homer in for good measure.

You've all probably already watched it three times, but if you've been hanging out in Dame Helen Mirren's ample lady-vagina, it's time to get balls deep and write the future below.

Robin Hood

Russel Crowe and Ridley Scott continue their deep and lasting bromance in tights with the 40,000th screen adaption of Robin Hood in this dimension alone (Stephen Hawkings is among many prominent figures to theorise that there is in fact at least one parallel universe populated solely with Robin Hoods).

While starting with promise Scott's film, like Crowe's frame, bloats ridiculously out of control to the point that not even Cate Blanchet can act her way out of the French's D-Day landing complete with WWII troop carriers or a cavalry of English child soldiers on Shetland ponies. But at least the Peterborough tourism board will have something to finally talk about, and for that I give it 3 stars.

People of Sydney: Potts Point market Lady

YouTube what did I do without you?

How could you possibly improve on Benny Hill? Have the Kim Jong Il spend his dying days engineering a prawn that can single-handedly (well prawn's have 10 limbs) bring down America and run on a tredmill to the Benny Hill music. The only failing with this plan is that Kim didn't mutate the prawn to have naturally-massive 70's-style tits to flash half way through the skit. Shame.



Thanks Fi

People of Sydney: Tassels

Learn to Act

Before I've offered you acting lesson's from James Franco. But this woman, Merilyn Hughes is a movie star. She has pathos, eye contact and great makeup. Be sure to also check out some of her friends who have also studied alongside her at the Sarantos Studios For Acting. They are all thespians (which must be why Merilyn wants to tack breasts to the bottom of her shoe) of the highest order. This is the drama school I should've gone to, then maybe I'd be starring as an almost convincing pool-boy #2 in a home made porno called 'Clean my Filter and my Fagina' right about now.

Merilyn Hughes – she is the Meryl Streep of You Tube


Jennifer Kane – can't stand it when she touches her, which probably explains why she walks to open-legged


Katherine Contreras - awkward


And then there's this dude

People of Sydney: Cleopatra

Art & Copy

A documentary about advertising runs the risk of being an industry version of soggy sao, and this one for a large part is. Often feeling like an infomercial for evangelical Christianity with long pondering shots of griddlocked freeway traffic in LA, sunbasked cityscapes and a gleaming rocket ripe for climax, all covered with industry 'facts and figures'.

But what is interesting and inspiring are the words of greats like Dan Wieden and David Kennedy, Hal Riney, Mary Wells, Cliff Freeman, Jim Durfee, Lee Clow and Liz Dolan the former head of marketing at Nike.

YouTube what did I do without you?

There is one thing most castings are missing it is sexy, sexy - species confused eagles.