Meetings are where creativity, productivity, sanity and the nativity all go to die. They are a massive waste of time. But is there something more sinister behind it all? Yes.
The meeting is a concept developed by a clandestine group of faceless chairmen in 1976 in order to distract the good people of earth. Why distract us? To guarantee that they would be able to halt the progress of technological, social and artistic development of the human race in order to ensure that we remain defenseless from the coming invasion of their giant space slug queen named Sally in the year 3001. It’s a lot to digest (both the concept and the entire human race, but Sally has 12 stomachs and 3 anuses). But we are all just pawns in a game set up by a group of expressionless computerised transvestites who worship a strangely named - morbidly obese - space slug, who has yet to discover a speedy way of coming to our planet in order to feast on our tasty entrails.
There is hope for mankind though. Stop wasting your precious time sitting in rooms talking in acronyms and instead devote yourselves to building slug repelling weapons and death rays. I for one am designing a rissole launcher. Sally will never know what hit her (minced meat).
