The Hotel of Doom Returns

I can only imagine the party at North Korea's National Steven Segal Museum (NSSM to locals) to celebrate the fact that the long maligned Hotel of Doom is now covered in glass on one of its three facades. Sure it is still the biggest fuck up in the history of pyramid shaped fuck ups, and is still highly unstable, un-occupiable and the hottest group sex spot for Pyongyang's pigeon population, but from this one angle it no longer has to be retouched out of the skyline on official postcards.

Apparently North Korean government types are going to wait and see if the glass remains in place before tackling the now shunned east and west faces of the building. The Hotel of Doom will never be used for anything but pigeon porn unless Kim Jong Il can find $2 billion dollars for the works structural works required. Something I believe he could do by selling his interests in the En Vogue back catalogue.

One thing I did however discover is that North Korea officially classes itself as a democracy. An interesting position for a state that hasn't held elections since its inception. Jong Il does love North Korea Idol though, so perhaps that's why the winners keep ending up as ministers in his government?

Learn more about this great marvel here.

The Hotel of Doom

Fine Comrades,

I've always wanted to go to North Korea. Who wouldn't. They have substandard missiles, Kim Jong Il, dancing bears, have the world's only Steve Segal museum and, if that's not enough, everyone wears a uniform. But where do you stay in a country that has no HotelIbis?

The Ryugyong Hotel (Korean for “giant waste of substandard concrete”) of course. It stands 105 storeys tall. Looks like ThunderbirdOne. Was started in 1987 before being abandoned a long way off completion in 1992. Where it has been left dormant without interiors or general comforts like windows or electricity ever since. Although there are now plans to mount a mobile phone tower to the top of it (Telstra never misses a trick).

The Hotel of Doom, as some call it, is in fact so secret that the government airbrushes it from all photos of Pyongyang and have forbidden citizens from looking at it, talking about it, or too it. Much like Tom Cruise really.

It is basically the most giant pyramid shaped fuck-up in the history of pyramid shaped fuck-ups. And boy have there been a few. I don’t know about you but I am going to spend my Easter long weekend building a tribute to honour this fine building out of the lead-coated substandard Lego i picked up in China Town.

We should all give Kim Jong Il a break though, it is very time consuming having twins and triplets removed from their parents and sent away to a baby work camp. (His nightmare that twins will overthrow him is a whole other post.)

In the meantime learn more about the Hotel of Doom at the Wikipedia truth site here.