Boy

There aren't many films that melt my heart (especially not since I had it removed and replaced with a replica made of Lego) Whale Rider was one, and now Taika Waititi's Boy is another. Maybe it's something about the Kiwi accent that confuses my neural receptors and nears me almost to the point of eye jizzing in sadness?

Whatever it is, Boy has all the things you could possibly want in a film: sweeping visuals, intoxicating performances, humour, sadness and most importantly Michael Jackson dancing.

I'd give it five churs as it is tu meke. (Or 'too much bro' out of ten for those of you still operating on the old scale.)

YouTube what did I do without you?

Some things in this world just can't be explained. And in my experience a lot of them originate in Japan. I really have no words for this. Well actually I do. I have three. Japanese. Black. Face. So wrong. And yet so right.

Thanks Rain

YouTube what did I do without you?

This guys obviously needs a girlfriend. And the easiest way to earn yourself some lady-loving? Become an instant welebrity. What's the best way of doing that? Make a clip about two girls and a poo filled cup? No, done. Film yourself having awkward sex with a night vision camera? Done, and see above problem. Become a fat, middle-aged, ugly Scottish lady with a dry sense of humour, the voice of an angel and a last name that describes a foreign growth on the human body? Done, done and done.

With all the obvious options already done, he decided to record himself 64 separate times in order to recreate Michael Jackson's Thriller from scratch. It is an achievement for floating white faces everywhere. All though I believe it is his version of Vincent Price's soliloquy that will earn him the he-she of his dreams.

Thanks Jed.

The land of the free and the money back guarantee: 15 minutes of shame

HOLY SHIT!

This is why you should never buy your boozed mother a webcam. Check out Tengobaila, a YouTube channel that shows off this woman’s ‘dancing’ skills. She is insane. Her face sometimes dances separately to her body. And her body always dances separately to the music. In her profile she declares she has ‘no race or age’ and ‘no allegiance to imaginary borders or countries.’ I guess the question is what good-medicine is she on, and how can I get some?

Her tributes to MJ are of the highest order (you may also notice that she likes to start each of her videos with a money shot):

Anvil the Story of Anvil

Sometimes inspiration comes to you in unexpected forms; like when Michael Jackson's image appeared to an obese American family in the bark of one of their trees; or in unexpected happenings; like the fact that America managed to elect President Obama (despite that fact that some confusingly accuse him of being a fascist, a communist, a socialist - and some how all three very differing ideologies all at the same time - and oh the fact he is, well, erm, you know, how do I say this without offending anyone? From Hawaii).

But Anvil the Story of Anvil is also one of those occasions. See it. You will laugh at the real Spinal Tapness of it all. You will cry at the strong man-love bond between Lips and Robb. And you will be inspired to hang on to your dream and make that shiznit happen (even if it takes you 30 years to get there).