The Signs o' Japan 12

Even I'm stumped on this one. Perhaps, 'don't have a daughter with your mobile phone as she will only end up a disfigured hybrid who loves to be all emo and protest against shit?'

The Signs o' Japan 11

No matter their age, or attire, you should never, ever, ignore women masturbating on the subway - it will only upset them.

The Signs o' Japan 10

Never, ever, under any circumstance, look a ranga directly in the eyes. (Especially those with receding hairlines.)

The Signs o' Japan 9

Love is an emotion most safely enjoyed when you are seated side-saddle.

The Signs o' Japan 5

Sorry! Please type with something other than your hands.

The Signs o' Japan 3

Please watch Hentai porn (while sitting on a pile of TNT) at home as it only mystifies and delights the Zombie-eyed passangers around you.

The Signs o' Japan 2

Please rehearse your questions (or use an auto cue) if you are to interview a midget or a baby.

The Signs o' Japan

Wheelchair access for those suffering from fisting related accidents. (In Japan they think of eventuality.)