The land of the free and the money back guarantee - Sesame Street 1 Fox News 0

Not only has Sesame Street spent 40 years tirelessly (and thanklessly) crusading for the rights of yellow birds with giantism, but it continues to do two very crucial, world-changing things:

1. Teach kids how to mispronounce the letter Z (It's Zed, not Zee)

2. Offer fair and balanced news coverage to those with the mental age of a 4 year old (just like Fox News)

But controversy struck recently when The Grouch News Network hit out at its rival 'Pox' News. So to make good Pox News host Slip O'Rielly agreed to appear with Fox News host Bill O'Rielly. And the results are outstanding.

As a side nite - I think you'll notice in this clip that Slip O'Rielly isn't the only one at the desk with a strange man's hand up his arse...

Astronomical Box Office - Twilight author now rich enough to buy the actual Moon.

It is official Stephenie Meyer probably now has more money than both JK Rowling and Dan Brown can fit in their collective bumgina's (or bumgeen to the more rarefied). You would have to be living in a cave in the tribal regions of Pakistan to not know that Twlight: New Moon can now be seen at your local cineplex. (In fact this is probably our best chance of nabbing Bin Laden as I hear he is a mad-keen fan of Robert Pattinson's ruffled head-merkin).

New Moon has raked in over a quarter-of-a-billion dollars worldwide in one weekend. It has now become the third highest grossing opening weekend of all time in the US with a Oprahnomical US$140.7 million. And I am not at all surprised that it has raped former Australian opening weekend records (taking AU$16million) as when I was in Melbourne last week I discovered that there are 200 registered vampires that roam the streets of Melbourne at night.

Who knew Vampires were unionised? I bet Rush Limbaugh would be outraged if he knew so many young American's were going to see a film about hundred-year-old socialists with messy hair. Actually he probably wouldn't care as they are very pale.

But I guess what surprises me is that a film based around the short-lived stage of the moon - where it is roughly in the same direction as the Sun, and therefore appears to be whole - is playing so well with the youth.

Who knew moon-science could be sexy and profitable? Not Galilei Galileo that's for sure.

YouTube what did I do without you - Gary Sizzle

Tony Martin's brilliance is at its stumbling best in this segment from Melbourne community radio station 3RRR. As radio advisor Gary Sizzle his comedic timing is almost beyond Swiss transport system good (which is funny as the Swiss outlawed jokes after a landslide referendum in 1975).

Having spent part of my uni life around commercial radio in Brisbane, I can tell you he's speaking directly from the bible according to whatever flange-faced-moron hired (and continues to pay) Kyle Sandilands. But hey a fat goatee-encrusted ranga has to be able to afford to lease a Rolls Royce somehow.

Come to think of it I should probably send Kyle some Pink tickets.