You know a feeling I just never seem to get enough of? That - hey honey I’m trapped in a coffin and I’m not dead or a zombie - feeling. That feeling when there’s just a little too much air to breath? Not to mention (well I guess I’m about to) the seemingly endless nights I lay awake waiting for the coming of the reckoning or EoD (End of Days) as I like to call it. You know, when the baby Jesus returns from fighting Tom Cruise to reap showers of love in the form of total annihilation upon us all. Good times.
Well I needn’t worry any longer as here is a product that combines all of this with my love for naming products with two completely unrelated words. Introducing the Quantum Sleeper. It will save you from the pretty much everyone and everything but yourself. From floods to terrorists it has you covered, and all within the comforting glow of a TV and a microwave. Who wants breakfast burritos?
Forget about your sub-prime house that the bank has sold from under you for five dollars and the Sean William Scott DVD collection. Just invest in one of these beautifully apocalypse-proof bed bunkers. If it’s good enough for Newt Brown-pants Jnr and Mary-Beth Sweater-set then you can bet it’s good enough for me.
i suppose a in-bed vegetable patch would be a great add on bonus and a toilet of some sort would be a real selling point as i dont like to shit where i sleep.
ReplyDeleteWho does. Well other than Meatballs.
ReplyDelete