Tuesday 25 May 2010

The end of Lost

I have a recurring mental problem, some kind of character glitch or addiction where I have to watch the series finale of a show even if I've never watched it before. I just like when things end. This can be problematic at times (see last episode of All Saints), but it's just the way Gepetto and his little baby Jesus made me. So it is with great excitement that I welcome the end of Lost.

But so I know what the 'hey there's Jim from Neighbours doing a terrible American accent' is going on I watched Sara Bernincas's informative catch-up of the last 6 years of Lost. Watch it in all of it's Party of Five referential and Angelina Jolie box eating glory.

I just can't wait to find out what the hatch, the plane crash and that annoying little kid with the dog were all about. I also hope they explain in the finale how the co-host of 1990's Australian Gladiator ended up as a flight attendant.



Via The Vine and Defamer.

Drawing of a child - present for Chris



Just another day in Rio really. Good times.

Oh shit it's an ad - Nike

It's hard not to like an ad that has a massively aspirational idea, an epically well spent production budget and the directorial prowess of Amores Perros and Babel helmer Alejandro González Iñárritu.

That and the fact Nike not only pilaged their stable of soccer (there are already 3 too many footy codes for it to be called football in Australia) stars but also managed to throw in Kobe, R-Fed, Gael García Bernal and most importantly Homer in for good measure.

You've all probably already watched it three times, but if you've been hanging out in Dame Helen Mirren's ample lady-vagina, it's time to get balls deep and write the future below.

Wednesday 19 May 2010

Robin Hood


Russel Crowe and Ridley Scott continue their deep and lasting bromance in tights with the 40,000th screen adaption of Robin Hood in this dimension alone (Stephen Hawkings is among many prominent figures to theorise that there is in fact at least one parallel universe populated solely with Robin Hoods).

While starting with promise Scott's film, like Crowe's frame, bloats ridiculously out of control to the point that not even Cate Blanchet can act her way out of the French's D-Day landing complete with WWII troop carriers or a cavalry of English child soldiers on Shetland ponies. But at least the Peterborough tourism board will have something to finally talk about, and for that I give it 3 stars.

Thursday 13 May 2010

YouTube what did I do without you?

How could you possibly improve on Benny Hill? Have the Kim Jong Il spend his dying days engineering a prawn that can single-handedly (well prawn's have 10 limbs) bring down America and run on a tredmill to the Benny Hill music. The only failing with this plan is that Kim didn't mutate the prawn to have naturally-massive 70's-style tits to flash half way through the skit. Shame.



Thanks Fi

People of Sydney: Tassels

Learn to Act

Before I've offered you acting lesson's from James Franco. But this woman, Merilyn Hughes is a movie star. She has pathos, eye contact and great makeup. Be sure to also check out some of her friends who have also studied alongside her at the Sarantos Studios For Acting. They are all thespians (which must be why Merilyn wants to tack breasts to the bottom of her shoe) of the highest order. This is the drama school I should've gone to, then maybe I'd be starring as an almost convincing pool-boy #2 in a home made porno called 'Clean my Filter and my Fagina' right about now.

Merilyn Hughes – she is the Meryl Streep of You Tube


Jennifer Kane – can't stand it when she touches her, which probably explains why she walks to open-legged


Katherine Contreras - awkward


And then there's this dude