Being up at 1am on a Sunday morning has its benefits. Like neighbours love it when you clean your house in the middle of the night and all the infomercials you can eat.
But it was on TV that I discovered this strange gem. Can't say Shakira is anyone I have ever really paid much attention too. And I am not so sure about the music (but then again I don't speak alien-vagine [see below] so the message she's spreading could be important), but this video was therapeutic.
It does leave me asking a few things however. Like why is she inside the sparkly-flesh-vagina of a large alien? If this is the dress code of the occupants of such a place, where do I get an invite? And how does Shakira manage to combine the moves of an exotic dancer with the out of time spasming of the homeless shemale I pass everyday on my way to work?
One hunch is that it is all caused by the psychotropic fumes of the alien tuna canoe.
Monday 31 August 2009
Wednesday 5 August 2009
Happy Birthday President Obama
I hope Michelle makes him an ice cream cake. Although being President he can order off the menu. I'd order the following:
Spaghetti and meatballs
6 shredded beef tacos
Spaghetti bolognase
A platter of assorted burritos, quesadillas, enchiladas and taquitos
Chilli crab spaghetti
Assorted salmon, tuna and sword fish sashimi
Spaghetti amatriciana
Roast beef, vegetables, Yorkshire puddings and gravy
A roast chicken
Thai red duck curry
Actually, stuff it I'd just suggest we have yum cha (dim sum).
Tuesday 4 August 2009
This woman is bat-shizzle-crazy
Not only is this woman (Dr. Orly Downstairs Mouth) crazy enough to lather herself in Lindsay Lohan's tan-in-a-can (here I believe she models the ever popular Tuna-Canoe flavour) but she's also insane enough to spend her time campaigning with ''millions'' of other American's to have Barack Obama's "secrets" exposed.
She is a 'birther' and believes that President ''did we mention his middle name is Hussein'' Obama wasn't actually born in Hawaii, but rather forged his own birth certificate, and birth announcements (possibly while still in uterine: what else is a productive brother supposed to do with nine spare months?) in the hope that he would, 48 years later, be president.
Problem is that Dr. Orly Salmon Catamaran is way off with Barack's secrets. Dude is the rightful President of the United States - but he has hidden much from us all. Let me reveal what to you before the brown-pants media shut me down:
1. He is Spiderman
2. He uses an electric toothbrush
3. He invented River Dance
4. Every time he sneezes a butterfly has an orgasm
5. He once explored the realm of the flesh tagine
Watch this if you dare. And then hope that no one is actually stupid enough to believe anything that Dr. Orly Clam Surprise says.
She is a 'birther' and believes that President ''did we mention his middle name is Hussein'' Obama wasn't actually born in Hawaii, but rather forged his own birth certificate, and birth announcements (possibly while still in uterine: what else is a productive brother supposed to do with nine spare months?) in the hope that he would, 48 years later, be president.
Problem is that Dr. Orly Salmon Catamaran is way off with Barack's secrets. Dude is the rightful President of the United States - but he has hidden much from us all. Let me reveal what to you before the brown-pants media shut me down:
1. He is Spiderman
2. He uses an electric toothbrush
3. He invented River Dance
4. Every time he sneezes a butterfly has an orgasm
5. He once explored the realm of the flesh tagine
Watch this if you dare. And then hope that no one is actually stupid enough to believe anything that Dr. Orly Clam Surprise says.
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