Saturday 13 June 2009

I'm a twat.

Hang on I don't know if I'm saying that right. I'm now on Twitter. So I now twat? Is that the right verb? I'm confused. Twat.

http://twitter.com/joshaitken

The land of the free and the money back guarantee - Live from Mars it's Saturday night!

I didn't know that ruling the Earth from Mars made your eye so wonky. But I guess it would be hard to find a good plastic surgeon up there. Just don't look into the eye, look around the eye, or you may end up a smiling follower in your very own 'it's a small world after all' national costume. Although not since the snuggie infomercial have I seen such happy people. Maybe her High Holy Queen of the rings of Uranus is on to something.

Wednesday 3 June 2009

Mind flu

Forget swine flu (which is easy as it isn't the dreaded elephant flu) as I have mind flu. Sure you probably won't catch it being date-raped on a P&O Cruise. Or by attending a large gathering at the MCG. But it is just a debilitating, but doesn't come with the sexy face masks. It is a pain in the arse.